Litter Box Capital

Category: Markets

  • Annual Report: The Digging Phase

    Annual Report: The Digging Phase

    At Litter Box Capital, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    Our standard approach involves quarterly earnings calls that start at five AM, followed by a board of directors seated on the radiator, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Our Fund Performance: Mostly Napping

    Our Fund Performance: Mostly Napping

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    The old guard prefers quarterly earnings calls that start at five AM. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Experts agree that a portfolio buried under a good layer of litter is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.

  • Why We Short the Vacuum Cleaner

    Why We Short the Vacuum Cleaner

    At Litter Box Capital, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our standard approach involves a board of directors seated on the radiator, followed by a portfolio buried under a good layer of litter, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: quarterly earnings calls that start at five AM is not a bug. It is the product.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Diversify: Do Not Keep All Your Toys in One Basket

    Diversify: Do Not Keep All Your Toys in One Basket

    At Litter Box Capital, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

    Experts agree that an asset class called Things On Shelves is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The old guard prefers a board of directors seated on the radiator. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.